Gender Roles

by Annie
First and foremost I want to apologize to Becky, sorry for writing such a long post! I couldn’t stop, but I cut it down so it shouldn’t be so bad!

I was watching RUNNING WITH SCISSORS (good movie by the way) and there was a scene where Dr. Finch finds his daughter, Hope, in his “masturbatory” (his masturbating room) taking a nap. He says to her, “Go answer the phone, do some paperwork, go do something like a respectable young lady should do.” I didn’t really pay much attention to the comment until a few days later. (I am starting to sound like Hector in his How I’m not American post, ha ha ha). Anyway, I had family over for dinner and I was heating up tortillas. One of my uncles said to me, “Ya sabes calentar tortillas, ahora si te puedes casar.”

Ya sabes lavar, limpiar y cocinar, ya te puedes casar! That is a very common phrase if you come from a Mexican family. It is expected for a young girl to know how to be a “good” wife. How can one define what a good wife is? Are their certain requirements that women are supposed to follow? Gender roles probably represent the earliest division of labor among humans. Every society has specific social definitions of appropriate behavior for males and females.

In my Women and Creativity class we read an article from the Housekeeping Monthly Magazine (1955). The name of the article was The Good Wife’s Guide and when I finished reading it I was shocked. These are just a few of the bullet points the article had:

1. Be happy to see him.
2. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is the way to let him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
3. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.
4. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
5. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
6. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
7. A good wife always knows her place.

Wow! Some of these are not so extreme but still, “Don’t question him,” now that is just a little degrading. A wife has every right to ask her husband anything she wants, doesn’t she?

I have always been very independent and I am a firm believer in equality for all sexes. There are times when I don’t know how to react to male chauvinist ideas or actions. For example, when my father or brothers leave their plate on the table after dinner, my mother instantly picks up after them. I used to get so mad. I would always say, “Ey, you forgot to pick up your plate!” They look at me and say things like, “I’ve been working all day, I’m tired,” “That’s what your mother is for,” or “If you see it then pick it up!” This makes me really angry, especially because my mother doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t see anything wrong with what they (my father and brothers) say or do. I understand that she was raised that way, I respect her completely, and I just don’t think I am comfortable with doing that myself. I know that when I decide to have a family I will have to make certain sacrifices and I will definitely respect and support my husband, and I expect my husband to respect me as well, but I think there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. My mother constantly tells me, jokingly, that I am going to be a horrible wife. She says my husband is going to starve and will never have clean clothes. All this is said in a humorous matter, but I know that unconsciously she wishes I were a little bit more submissive.

I know how to cook, clean, wash, etc. my mother did well in teaching me how to do these things and I appreciate it. In fact I couldn’t thank her more, I am so proud that I am able to do things on my own, domestically speaking, and she knows I am ready to have a family, if that is what I wanted. I love to cook, it is one of the things I enjoy doing the most. I cook for my family, friends, and of course myself. What I am trying to say is this: I don’t disagree with knowing how to do the domestic aspects of the home; as a matter of fact I think it is necessary to know these things, but I do disagree with the idea that the female sex is “supposed” to do it. Why shouldn’t it be expected from both sexes?

Most people simply say that this is how the world works, but it isn’t! How can we account for women's subordination? Women's subordination has a social origin; it is neither given by nature nor an accidental feature of relations between men and women, but built into the structure of society. If gender and sexuality are not fixed by nature, then male dominance and institutionalized heterosexuality are open to challenge.

I was watching Popeye a couple weeks ago and there was an episode where Olive Oyl started taking self defense classes. Popeye walks by and see’s the poster which is advertising Women Self Defense classes. It is not very clear but you can hear Popeye saying “Oohh classes for the weaker sex!” I swear it says that! So I continued watching more episodes (I bought the Popeye collection on DVD in August, if anyone wants to borrow them just let me know!) and when I switched the DVD a WARNING came up, the warning reads as follows: The animated shorts you are about to see are a product of their time. They may depict some of the ethnic, sexist and racial prejudices that were commonplace in American society. These depictions were wrong then and are wrong today. While the following shorts do not represent the Warner Bros. view of today’s society, these animated shorts are being presented as they were originally created, because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices never existed.

Men and women are different in regards to privilege, prestige, and power. The problem of who gets what, when, and how has traditionally been answered in favor of males. Sex is a biologically determined characteristic; gender is a socially constructed characteristic.

No nation treats its women as well as its men. Women in many countries suffer discrimination and abuse. U.S. women do most of the household work and childrearing. Even though more women are contributing in the paid workforce, women continue to be excluded from top jobs or earn less than men. And even though women have become more involved, men still dominate U.S. political life.

Functionalists suggest that families are organized along instrumental-expressive lines, with men specializing in instrumental tasks and women in expressive tasks. Conflict theorists say that a sexual division of labor is a social tool devised by men to make sure they get privilege, prestige, and power in their relationships with women. Interactionists argue that gender inequality continues because of the way we define men and women’s roles in society. Feminists argue that women are disadvantaged because society is patriarchal; the assignment of group differences is socially damaging people. The truth is social construction is a reality and we will never be able to get rid of it. Society has made a mold or a model of how we are supposed to act and yes, all cultures and religions have their own specific ideas on how one as a male or female should act, but in the end the established order has already created a central idea of sexes, behaviors, and expectations. I am not saying there are no differences between sexes because in saying so I am neglecting certain truths meaning not all societal roles are due to conditioning. I am just saying that the idea of how "men" and "women" are supposed to act is a social construct.

Basically I have come to this conclusion: I don’t agree one hundred percent with how society creates roles for women. For example, the “good wife” article, I don’t think that we should be told how to be with our husbands; we should respect and love our husbands without following a handbook. Women are free to be however they wish. I don’t look down upon women who are all about their husbands, those women who can’t do anything without consulting their husbands first; some women like that, they like to feel “protected,” I am just not like that, their might be occasions where it is necessary but keep your self respect ladies.